Shyness Is Not A Character Trait. So What Is It?

I remember walking into my new middle school at the start of my 8th grade year. We had just moved to another part of town because my parents wanted my little sister and me in better schools. I didn’t know a single person. All my friends were at the school I left. The kids in this new school had already had a couple years to find their group and to become established in those groups. It might have been easier if the school was small. The “new guy” label would have given me a step up, typically, but this was not a small school. I became another face in the crowd. This was one of the hardest years of my life.

Everyday, I would mostly keep to myself. The friends I had were not really the kind of friends I wanted, but it was better to have bad friends than no friends. The bus rides home consisted of me looking out the window lost in thought and ignoring the loud, obnoxious high school students who always claimed the backseat. There was only one place where I had the kind of friends I wanted: church.

The summer before we moved, my parents signed me up for the summer youth camp at our church. First, they were taking me away from my friends and now they were forcing me to go to this camp for a week where I don’t know anyone. Great. Although we called this our church, we weren’t really involved other than going to Sunday morning services. So, I went to the camp. It was at this camp that I met  God and became a believer in Jesus Christ. The camp was so much fun and I made friends that are still my friends to this day. I think God knew what He was doing because He knew the next year was going to be really difficult for me. That year, on those bus rides home, I frequently prayed to God. He knew I was in pain, and because of that, He gave me a church community to bring me hope and joy. I was myself at church, but the moment I was back at school, I immediately became shy, introverted Ryan.

I am not shy. I am not an introvert. These are lies from the enemy because he knows the power of the voice God put inside of me. He was trying to steal my identity away from me before I ever discovered it.

Too often, we label kids as shy. The enemy doesn’t even have to do anything because we give the child the lie first. Why do we think that shyness is an acceptable personality trait?

What is Shyness?

Shyness is defined as “a feeling of fear of embarrassment” by Princeton.edu. The root of shyness is fear. If you’ve never heard the term “fear of man”, it means to fear what they might think about you instead of trusting in God. It’s a debilitating thought for anything you want to do in life. Proverbs 29:25 says, “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.” It means you have a lack of confidence in who you are. Granted, when we are young, we don’t often know exactly who we are. It’s not that we don’t have an identity, but that we haven’t yet discovered it.

Why are people Shy?

After doing some research on this subject, I came across the American Psychological Association’s website. Here are some of the attributes they give for shy people: avoiding social interaction, few or no friends, passivity, pessimism, low self-esteem, and excessive use of the computer that is not social as to avoid face to face contact. They also gave possible reasons for shyness: lacking adequate social support, major and abrupt changes to life, parental criticism or control, family neglect, public embarassments, bullying and teasing. The APA seems to think experiences will determine whether or not a person becomes shy. Some believe it’s a genetic personality trait passed down from the parents. I agree that it can be passed down from the parents. Parents have the most influence in their children’s lives, so if a parent believes they are shy, the child will see that as an acceptable personality trait. Personally, I think shyness is more of a spiritual nature. Yes, the experiences provide the opportunity like they did for me, but I believe the verse in John 10:10 that says, “The thief’s (Satan’s) purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.” I wasn’t shy before we moved, but the enemy saw his chance to steal my identity, and he tried to take it.

The enemy is so good at lying that he can make us believe what we are hearing is the undeniable truth. In John 8:44, Jesus calls him the “father of lies”. He invented lying, and he’s had many years to perfect it. We’ve all believed lies from him: We’re not smart. We’re not strong. We’re not pretty. We don’t have what it takes. No one cares about us. We know the lies that we’ve allowed ourselves to believe. Don’t beat yourself up for ever believing those lies. Until we hear the truth, those lies are all we have. Once we hear the truth, those lies seem so obviously lies.

How do we get rid of shyness?

There is only one way. His name is Jesus.

1 John 4:18 says, “Perfect love expels all fear.” We can only learn how to perfect our love by the inventor of love. By spending time with God, we start to understand what a healthy, loving relationship is suppose to be like. Jesus died not only for our sins, but to restore our connection to God through the Holy Spirit. We actually have the very presence of God living inside of us. That means we have Love Himself living inside of us and He wants to put truth in our minds.

Paul reminds us in 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-control.” As we’ve already discovered, shyness is rooted in fear. Timidity is defined as “fear of the unknown or unfamiliar or fear of making decisions”.  We aren’t given fear from God. Fear was never a part of our original design. Above all other things, fear is the most life crushing spirit. We have power over fear by obtaining perfect love from Christ.

How can you do what God asks you to do if you’re afraid of what others might think or of walking into the unknown?

What about Noah? What if he was afraid of what others might think if he build a large, ridiculous boat because God told him a flood was coming. Well for one thing, we wouldn’t be here to even ponder it.

What about Moses? What if he let his fear of man or fear of going back home overcome him, and he never returned to free God’s people from Egypt? The Israelites may have been completely destroyed and the offspring of Abraham may never have made it to Jesus.

Wow. Simply by being shy and operating out of fear in our daily lives can destroy the life God has for us and the future of many more lives.

Today, I know who I am. I heard the truth from God about who He created me to be. Those lies no longer have a place to dictate how my life is lived. It took many years before I discovered the truth that God did not make me shy. He didn’t make me to fear, but to be bold and use my voice. That doesn’t mean I have to talk all the time. Now, if I’m quiet, it’s because I don’t have anything to say and not that I’m afraid to say anything. First, I received God’s love that He had been trying to show me for many years. Then, I sought Him out for my identity. I wanted to know who I am. Overtime, He showed me who I was and, also, showed me the lies that prevented me from seeing that. This is never a quick or easy journey, but God is patient as we walk out of fear and into His love.

You are not shy.

You are not timid.

You are bold. You are powerful. You are the son or daughter of the living God who has ALL authority over fear.

What holds us back from discovering our identity?

The Year of Intentionality.

It’s funny how we see the new year as a chance for newness. New beginnings, new goals, new you. Not that there’s anything wrong with wanting a fresh start. Especially when the previous year was wrought with pain and disappointment. I admire people who see room for improvement in their lives and want to take action to make those improvements come to fruition.

At the end of every year, we are always asked the same sarcastic question, “What’s your New Year’s Resolutions?” To me, the word “resolution” goes synonymously with “good intentions”. What if someone asked you, “What are your goals for 2012?”

Goals? At least, it sounds better.

A goal is simply a target we want to achieve and take the necessary steps to achieve it. It has action behind it. If you can answer that question, I’d say you have a very exciting year ahead of you. A year of intentionality!

At the start of every year since 2009, I’ve written down goals for the year. When I worked on Dave Ramsey‘s team, I heard him speak one morning after the new year on goal setting. He suggested you make your goals by separating your life into categories: faith, health, finance, relationships, intellectual, career, etc. You can make the categories as broad or specific as you want. He also mentioned how much more likely you are the accomplish a goal if you write it down. I’m reminded of the quote, “If you aim for nothing, you’ll hit it every time.” You can make goals in your head to “aim” for, but there’s something about putting ink to paper that makes it real. Maybe when you write it down, you’re telling your brain, “I’m serious about this.”

The new year is, usually, when we put things back in to perspective and start walking down the path that leads to the future we want, but throughout the year, we should be adjusting our goals. For one, we accomplish goals (hopefully). We lose those ten pounds. We finally sit down to make our monthly budget. We read the books that have been on our “to-read” list for a long time (one of mine this year). When you finish goals, you make new ones. You don’t wait until 2013 to make new ones. Well…you shouldn’t. Besides, they say 2012 is the last year before the end of the world, or at least that’s what “they” say. Who are “they”? “The inimitable, collective them.” as Kirsten Dunst says in Elizabethtown (if I can use a movie quote that fits, I will). Whether or not the world ends this year according to the Mayans or Nostradamus, we should live our lives constantly pushing towards the end goal. If you don’t know what that end goal is yet, please read chapter three of Paul’s letter to the Philippians.

Another reason to adjust/reset goals throughout the year, it’s a way to kick start the goals when they’ve been fizzled out after months of pushing forward. Goals always sound better in our heads when we first make them. When I first started writing my goals, I went over the top. They were completely unreasonable. 100 new books in a year? Yeah, that’s logical. I love to read but come on. When I was half way through the year and had only read 10 books, I felt defeated. You should set reasonable goals and then go above and beyond. You get the sense of accomplishment when you complete them, and you get to make new goals. Big dreams are good, but little goals are better.

“Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.”

One thing that I learned in 2011 was that goals change, or plans change if you’d prefer. You can’t put your faith in them because they’ll always surprise you for better or worse. So, when life throws you a curve ball, your plans will automatically be shifted to change. If you weren’t expecting the curve ball, the thought of moving forward and pushing through may not be your first inclination. Life can be hard. Some people may be “glass half empty” and see the world as always hard and joyless.  While others may be overly optimistic and expect the world to always provide happiness. I think there is a middle ground in there somewhere. James from the Bible says, ”When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” He doesn’t say “if troubles come your way”. He says “when”. Don’t expect to not have hard times. It’s one way that we grow. But, don’t ever forget to be thankful and joyful for all the things that make you come alive. So, when troubles come your way, and they will come your way, hold on to your joy and overcome the circumstance. Persevere. Hold fast. Endure. Will you endure the testing of 2012?

All that to say, make goals, let God direct your steps and don’t fear a change in the plans when something happens.We should constantly be renewing ourselves by shedding the bad and taking in the good.

Annnnd we’re back…

Give me a blog and I can start it. Ask me to continually keep it up to date and I fail miserably.  Seven months isn’t too long right? Right?

Oh well, I’m getting back to it, and I couldn’t be more excited to write about what God is doing in my life and sharing any revelations He decides to share with me.

I did a little revamping, and I must say I’m happier with the way it looks. The guy on the right seems like he’d be pretty cool.

I’ve just finished reading a book called The Supernatural Ways of Royalty by Kris Vallotton. A friend gave me this book knowing that this topic on “royalty” is something God has placed strongly in my heart over the past year. There are many reasons why I feel like it is something He wanted me to know, but I hope to share that in a future project. Right now, I want to give an overview of this book which hits on so much more than just “royalty”.

* I condensed a lot of the book, for obvious reasons, but you should check this book out! I wish I could share it all, but you need to read more anyways. This is a collection of my 9 pages notes.

THE SUPERNATURAL WAYS OF ROYALTY SUMMARY &  PERSONAL INSIGHTS

With authors whom I’ve never read, I go into reading their books with a lot of skepticism and distrust of their words. This is good in the sense that I don’t allow just anyone’s words to influence me and my spiritual walk, but at times, it can also hinder me from seeing the truth and revelations the author may be trying to reveal. With Kris, I was very cynical. I had to stop and pray to trust the Holy Spirit to help allow only what’s truth stick in my mind and heart. The book was a much easier read after that.

“We become the person He (God) has called us to be when we meditate on the things of God and dream His dreams.”

A friend once suggested a reason for why God wants us to worship Him. He said that it isn’t that God needs us to worship Him for His needs. He lived before He created us just fine. Perhaps, in His infinite wisdom, He knew that we become like that which we worship and place our focus. If I become Kingdom minded, I will become the person God created me to be. Kris says, “People of royalty focus on who they are called to be.” They know that it is essential to understand what God thinks of them (and others) in order to step into their destiny. We all have a specific calling, and God, who knew us before we were born¹, knows what our heart is passionate about and who we desire to be. He wants to see us live up to our great destinies, but first we have to believe in who He has called us to be. Royals.

“When God’s Royalty touches our lives, we discover we are designed to live in God’s glory. We no longer live in the bondage’s of our past — performance and comparison in our daily lives, but we know our worth in simply loving Him. For out of that springs living water and revelation for those who have not found the truth in the nations of the earth.”

Kris goes on to talk a lot about forgiveness, repentance and living with complete freedom, but I’m not going to mention any of that other than his simple statement that “to move from something automatically means you have to move towards something.” When we repent and move away from sin, we should start walking in the opposite direction of moving towards an intimate relationship with God. Out of that intimacy, you receive so much more than you could imagine. Paul, from the Bible, understood this perfectly when he said, “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward the day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be. No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all that I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven.”² I hope you know how free you really are when you are God’s child.

Once we know our royal identity, we can help others discover their worth and identity. The blind can’t lead the blind. It is to the entire world’s benefit that we know how royal we are.

I agreed wholeheartedly when Kris said, “Just as bad names can hold people in bondage and lead them into destruction, great names can release power into our lives and bring us into our God-given destinies.” He mentions people from the Bible whose names were changed in order for them to be released down the amazing path God was leading them. Jacob means “supplanter” or “trickster”. In Genesis, Jacob wrestled with God, and then he was blessed with a new name, Israel.³ His new name was not only to send Jacob into his destiny but his descendants. The name Israel would come to define an entire nation. That’s just one person.

Kris says, “Names are a prophetic destiny,” and that once we understand who we are, “…our behavior changes because we always act out of our ‘self-understood’ identity.” That is why it is so important for me to name my children with names I believe God has written into their destinies. I don’t want them to have a name change. I want them to walk in their identity from the beginning! Parents, please give your kids a name that will bless them and not curse them. When my mother named me, according to her, she just liked the name, but I believe God had a hand in her decision. It’s not by chance that Ryan means “little king” or “young royalty”. It is so wrapped into my identity, and I live life knowing that I’m the “little king” to the “King of Kings”.

What Jesus did for us was more than save us from our sins, but also to restore our original place on this earth. Paul writes to the Colossians, “For God in all His fullness was pleased to live in Christ, and by Him God reconciled everything to Himself. He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth by means of His blood on the cross. This includes you who were once so far away from God. You were His enemies, separated from Him by your evil thoughts and actions, yet now He has brought you back as His friends. He has done this through His death on the cross in His own human body. As a result, He has brought you into the very presence of God and you are holy and blameless as you stand before Him without a single fault.”⁴

A few things from this verse stick out to me:

1. “He made peace with everything in heaven and earth…” Everything was put back in it’s rightful place including all of humanity and satan.

2. “He has brought you back as His friends.” We are God’s friends. We have an intimate bond with the Creator. One of the things that friends do best  is to tell each others secrets. God wants to share secrets with you! I kind of want to go brag to everyone that I’m friends with the God of the entire universe. Not to rub it in their faces but to tell them they can have that intimacy too.

3. “…you are holy and blameless as you stand before Him without a single fault.” Excuse me? Are you saying that I’m holy? Yes! This was a huge revelation for me this year and a hard one to accept. We can’t hold onto the lie that we are still bound by sin.

It isn’t wrong to say how important and great you are. Kris says, “There is a lie that tells us any recognition of our strength or goodness is pride. The truth is that it’s neither pride to recognize our strengths or humility to demean them.” He goes on to tell a metaphor about a painting and how calling the painting worthless or ugly doesn’t honor the painter.  He ends by saying, “We don’t glorify God by saying we’re not great, we glorify Him by acknowledging that He is the source of that greatness.” By being great and seeking perfection, we actually honor God because we acknowledge that He has made us pure, that He has blessed us with beautiful gifts, and He has shown us our lives can make a huge impact for eternity.

“Confidence always looks like arrogance to the insecure.”

I’m confident that God has a great destiny for me, but I’m also confident God has great plans for you as well. He uses some people in greater ways than others, but that doesn’t mean they are any greater than the person serving there church week in and week out. That person is just as much a king or queen in God’s court than the super evangelist. If you don’t know who you are, spend some time with God and I promise He will reveal it to you. It does you and God no good for you not to walk in confidence of who you are.

Just like Jacob’s future generations were changed forever by his identity change, so will yours. Kris says, ” The ceiling of one generation must become the floor of the next.” My grandmothers have both helped in building the floor for me to build a house on top of. Both came to God by different means, but they came to God all the same. Their faith has affected my parents and because my parents went to church, I went to church. They live moral, faith-driven lives which taught me a lot about life while I grew up. It’s like the books I love to read by Lewis, Tozer, Eldredge, Chan, or Giglio (no particular order). They have taught me so much about their own revelations from God and the way they live their lives. If I tried to learn all this on my own effort, I would never be able to do it. We have a huge advantage when we use the steps laid by lose who have experienced life before us. My kids will be taught not only what my parents taught me, but also, what I’ve learned through the course of my experiences and time with God. I claim my identity, so that one day I can lay the foundation for my son to become even greater than me.

In one of the final chapters of The Supernatural Ways of Royalty, Kris says, “The trials of our life are designed to develop our character so we can stay in the palace.” Never has a truer statement been said. This past year I had some very hard, life-wrecking trials, but God gave me a verse in James to cling to which I think backs up Kris’ statement perfectly. “Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.” Just a few verses further and Paul says, “God blesses the people who patiently endure testing. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.”⁵

God is just waiting to place that crown on your head for living a life in an intimate friendship with Him. Life is hard sometimes, but we cling to God and the way he sees us. We walk through this life in the authority given to us as His royal children.

“The Body of Christ is equipped to bring the kingdom of righteousness, peace and joy wherever we go. We have power over the evil prince who keeps people in bondage. We have love that causes people to know they are cared about. We have grace that gives them the power to change. We have mercy that picks them up when they fall. We have courage that stands in the face of violence and brings peace, and we have wisdom that shows people how to live. Most of all, we have an awesome Father who knows how to melt the hearts of His people. We have the answers to the world’s problems and the devil’s devices.” -Kris Vollotton

Bible References:

1. Jeremiah 1:5

2. Philipians 3: 12-14

3. Genesis 32: 24-28

4. Colossians 1: 19-22

5. James 1: 2-4 & 1: 12

Ryan

The Middle

Halfway through lecture phase. Wow.

I wish I could write down all that I’ve gained in wisdom, understanding, and life changing experiences on this blog, and see you changed by all of it. You may take some of it and apply it to your life, but just reading a blog, book, or hearing a message doesn’t change your character. The only way we change is through our personal relationship with God. I’m learning how much God wants to change me in the one on one moments rather than in the corporate times (although He does that too). These 6 months of intense focus and training will be the biggest turning point in my entire life. If you’re questioning where your life is going or want a much more intense relationship with God, YWAM is a launching pad for people to lose the distractions blocking us from being in a deep intimacy with our Creator and finding our identity.

It may be YOUTH With A Mission, but there are plenty of older people in Discipleship Training Schools. Age doesn’t matter! This life on Earth is only a fraction of time in our existence. As my favorite quote says, “What we do in life echoes in eternity.” What are you going to do in life? Come one, come all! This isn’t a plug for YWAM, but it is a place to have a radical life change.

Now, maybe a little bit about what I’ve learned over the past few weeks. Hope some of the thoughts challenge you and encourage you.

Week 3:

The founders of YWAM, Loren & Darlene Cunningham, along with David Hamilton spoke about some basics of our faith. Most of it was told through stories. Listening to Loren was like sitting on the floor at your grandfather’s house while he lounges in his   La-Z-Boy. Most of the time you’re wide eyed with amazement, and others your eyes might be closed from some tangent about who knows what. Guilty of the latter. Only until I got my coffee. Starbucks has ruined me…

Anyways, here is a bullet list of things that stood out.

-We become like the gods that we serve.

-Faith comes by hearing the Word of the Lord.

-Do the possible and God will do the impossible.

-If you want generously, give generously.

-God does things in a way that gives Him the most glory (I’m discovering this with finances).

-Always have a “YES’ and an “I WON’T QUIT” attitude.

These were just from the first day, and only a third of my notes. 

Loren spoke on the second day. The thing that stuck out the most was learning how to “Respond in the Opposite Spirit”.

They HATE. You LOVE.

They TAKE. You GIVE.

They DESTROY. You BUILD UP.

David gave us a train diagram to explain how a person lead by God can apply this to their life.

If our mind knows the will of God and His truths, then we are lead by His will and we’ll respond emotionally appropriate. If your emotions lead, you end up with a train wreck.

I’m sure you can agree with that. I know I can.

*A great way to find out the opposite spirit is to look at the Fruits of Darkness and match them with the Fruits of the Spirit.

Last thing.

David recommended to read Psalm 103 when you’re day is going bad, and you don’t feel like worshiping God. It’s all about remembering His blessings and praising Him for who He is. Worship is about Him anyways.

David had us write down a list of all that God has done for us. Counting God’s Blessings.

My list came up to about 21 things before he cut us off. Then, he asked us to write down different things we learned about God’s character through each blessing. Here is what I learned:

God…

…is a God of NO FEAR.

…delights in my strength.

…restores.

…has a teacher’s heart.

…breathes life into words.

…loves to give gifts and blessings.

…is passionate.

…is the Guide.

…puts tools in our hands to bring Him glory.

…is intimate.

…is powerful. Crazy powerful.

…tests us to build us up.

…wants to use me.

…is fun. (If He was boring I wouldn’t be following Him)

These don’t even scratch the surface of who He is! Seriously. If you don’t know this God, find Him. He’s not hiding.

“Kingdom Sexuality” with Kenny Jackson.

As with everything at YWAM, this guy rocked my socks off. It’s really too hot to wear socks anyways.

Some of these things he said were ideas that I had, but I was unable to put into words.

Kenny said we should be narrow minded. Not in the sense where we aren’t open to new revelations, opinions, ideas, etc. I think he meant we need to be narrowly focused. We are too tolerant of today’s culture. Matthew 7:13 says, “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way.” Kenny phrased it this way, “Broad is the way of destruction, but narrow is the way of righteousness.” Other people are welcome to their beliefs, and we shouldn’t judge them accordingly. On the flip side, we should believe what we believe is really real.

He used a verse from the beginning of our creation to explain a lot of things about marriage and sexuality.

Genesis 2:24 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”

1. “a MAN” will “be joined to his WIFE”. Not man to man or woman to woman. MAN to WIFE. Simple. Homosexuality was not what God originally intended.

2. In Malachi 2:16, God actually says He “hates” divorce. Jesus talks about this verse in Genesis in Matthew 19:6. He says, “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” There’s no way to rip a single flesh without something getting torn. Divorce isn’t what God originally intended.

3. Both the man and woman leave their parents. Most of the time, couples who live with mom and dad (in the same house) have relational difficulties with the parents. It’s like when a man grows up learning how to be a man from his father. The father only knows what he was taught by his father and God the Father (John 5:19). There is a point when the boy becomes a man that He looks to God to continue his journey into manhood. For the son to continue to seek after only his earthly father’s guidance would cause a halt in his growth and strength. Parental attachment in marriage isn’t what God originally intended.

There’s very little gray area in the Bible.

Yes, there are commandments to follow. Like, you can’t kill a man. I know really hard to resist that one. They are mostly Godly common sense things. If we want to show that we love Jesus, we’ll strive to be more like Him every single day. Jesus commands us to be holy. He can’t command we be holy if it isn’t possible! Jesus faced all the same temptations that we do. He overcame with a deep relational intimacy with His father, and with great wisdom and understanding of the Word. We all have the ability to sin, but we also have the ability to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. Christ took back our inheritance over this earth. No more “I’m not perfect” as an excuse to keep on allowing sin into your life. Hey, I’m preaching to myself as well. It’s possible.

Kenny asked is this question, “Is sex a need?”

Before continuing to read, answer that question for yourself.

The world could have a major catastrophe, and most people would go into survival mode. The first things your would think about are food, water, shelter, and clothing. Sex? I doubt it. If sex is needed, then we have the right to do whatever we need to get it. You wouldn’t be angry with a man for stealing your water to live, but you would if he was trying to rape your wife. Too many people (mostly men) see sex as a right when it’s really a privilege. Kenny gave us a different prospective  on Adam and Eve’s story. Did you realize that the first sin was a sexual one? They realized they were naked! No rest for Satan.

He used a great metaphor for the relationship between a couple. Like a fuel gauge that runs a car, you have to fill it back up. Too many couples are on empty, and they believe that the relationship must not be working out. Just fill up the gas with things important to the other person. You wouldn’t throw away a car just because it was out of gas.

Definitely read this next part if you are hoping  to one day be married.

This hit me like a bag of bricks to my expectation of God. Kenny said, “We have to decide on marriage. God won’t tell you to marry someone because if it doesn’t work you’ll blame Him.” This goes along with that “free will” concept. God gave us a choice. He may guide us in a direction, but we chose to walk in it or away from it.

There was more, but you get the important stuff. Here is Kenny’s site where you can find out more about this or buy his book The Battle For Your Sexuality.

Kingdom Sexuality

Review of “Is That Really You God?” by Loren Cunningham.

This book rocked my world.

It’s amazing being on the other side of this testimony, 51 years after the start. Loren heard God speak to him through a vision of waves of youth going out into the nations bringing the Word of God. From such humble beginnings, YWAM has become a huge world changing ministry. I can’t even begin to believe the compounding effect of this one man’s obedience to the Lord.

Loren grew up in a family that listened to God’s voice. Both his grandfather and father felt called to go out and spread the Gospel. Loren says in the book he’s not surprised he also felt called to go out and spread the gospel. When he was in his twenties, he took a mission trip to the Bahamas. While looking at a map, it began to move. He had the vision of youth pouring like waves over the continents helping and spreading the Gospel. He often asks after hearing God’s voice, “Is that really you?” A viable question. We know there is an enemy who wants us to have a counterfeit faith or not one at all. Then, our own voice can drown out His because of our own thoughts. Loren made sure he kept this quite until he understood what God meant by it.

In 1960, Loren started Youth With A Mission. Nothing was glamorous about this new adventure. As I was reading it though, I realized that the pioneers of YWAM may not have had it great, but they were the first generation of many more to come. It reminded me of a very important lesson that I learned from someone. You may not always see the harvest. Those guys planted a seed that grew into a huge tree of life. YWAM began to grow, but Loren wanted to see the waves from his vision from the Lord.

We get a little insight into Loren in Darlene’s love story not too far into the story. One thing I liked about it was how bold Loren was towards pursuing Darlene. She had been in a bad relationship, but Loren spoke truth to her about that wound left from this guy. One thing godly women are drawn to is to godly men. Crazy concept, I know. Loren was bold. He wasn’t trying to impress her (completely) but rather speaking God’s spiritual truth into her emotional pain. As the story goes, they got married not too long after they met.

YWAM grew year after year with amazing testimonies of healing, stopping people from committing murders, and, of course, bringing people to the Lord. God always provided whenever and where ever. One of my favorite parts of the book (I actually laughed out loud), is when Loren felt like he was suppose to buy this hotel in Munich.  They needed $10,000. They received $10,060. No more came in than that. Then when they were looking for a place where they could house 1,000 students and printing newspapers, they were just looking for a warehouse. God decided to bless them abundantly because He like giving gifts to His children. God lead them to buy a castle which was kind of modernized. A castle?!? God sometimes provides exactly what you need and others He wants to spoil you just for the fun of seeing how joyful He makes you.

Loren says that one of the principals of guidance is ongoing confirmation. God may give you a word, but you always have to check with the Word. He said they are like stop signs that you would look for on a new road. To have guidance, you must have a relationship with the Guide! And if you want a relationship with Christ you must have great communication between you and the Hold Spirit. Something I’m definitely working on.

Loren definitely describes many times when YWAM screwed up, but God always showed His mercy. Even if we mess up, God won’t take back our callings and gifts. Now, YWAM is a massive organization that is going to spread the Word to all people.

There are so many great things about this book, but if I told you all of it, that wouldn’t inspire you to go out and read it. And I’m really tired.

Any book suggestions?

Next post: Kenny Jackson’s “Kingdom Sexuality”

Team Thai-pan!

At the end of June, I’ll be off to Japan and Thailand with part of my PhotogenX family.

When we prayed over locations, I couldn’t get Japan/Thailand out of my head. I’m not sure why, but my hope is that God has plans to use me there. I know He could use me anywhere, but there might be something that I can do that no other person can do. I know God has that for each of my team mates too. Each of us has a different gifting, passion, skill, personality, you name it. Looking forward to working on our Ohana, “family” in Hawaiian.

Thai-pan sounds better than Japland. It could be insulting to some people.

Please be praying for my team’s wisdom, finances, unity, and hearing God’s voice on what He wants us to do in these two nations.

Come back soon because I have two posts coming up from this week’s lessons on Kingdom Sexuality and Loren Cunningham’s book “Is That Really You God?”

Miss you guys back home!

The Beginning After the End.

The first real weekend here was super relaxing. Saturday was a day of rest for me. Just got things done that needed to be done (laundry, workout, reading). Then, I had a great night spending time with Kayla.

If you would like to see what’s going on in her newest YWAM experience, check out the BLOG. I’m so thankful that she is with me on the first 3 months of this journey, and I think she’s pretty cool (I’m hearing that SNL, Miley Cyrus skit in my head).

Sunday was a chill morning, but one of my school mates, Aubrey, rented a car for the weekend. So we took it for a ride up the coast. We got to hang out on another planet, or at least that’s what the lava rocks make it look like. It was just cool to see something that was in the core of the Earth at one time. Hopefully, I’ll see some of the active volcano. Once we headed inland, it felt like we were in Africa. The grass and rocks gave the savanna feel. I expected to see a pride of lions crouching beneath the tall grass. The best part of the whole thing was getting to know the four other people who came with me. Great talks, fun pics, and some tasty Subway always equals a great time.

Today, we heard our outreach options. No I’m not going to tell you. We each went off for 45 minutes to spend time praying and seeking God’s direction for our decision. There were really a couple places that I felt no desire to go, but I’m down for wherever I’m needed. This time isn’t for vacation, and Jesus’ name is needed everywhere. Of course, I put down the two I felt most lead towards, but we’ll see by the end of the week after the leaders have prayed about our decisions.

No matter where I go, I’m still in need of funds for the outreach. God told me when I prayed about this school that He would provide. It’s funny that the daily devotional I’m doing with my friend Jose nails the place God has us each day. Today, the scripture was Psalm 67.

Psalm 67

¹ May God be merciful andbless us.

      May his face smile with favor on us.

 ² May your ways be known throughout the earth,
      your saving power among people everywhere.
 ³ May the nations praise you, O God.
      Yes, may all the nations praise you.
 ⁴ Let the whole world sing for joy,
      because you govern the nations with justice

      and guide the people of the whole world.

 ⁵ May the nations praise you, O God.
      Yes, may all the nations praise you.
 ⁶ Then the earth will yield its harvests,
      and God, our God, will richly bless us.
 ⁷ Yes, God will bless us,
      and people all over the world will fear him.

A few things just slapped me in the face with God’s amazing grace. First, it talks about the nations praising God. Outreach is all about sending students OUT to other nations! Second, He guides the people of the world. He has called me to something great, and I feel guided here by God to train me for that calling. Third, God has called me to other nations, and I should fully expect His blessings (spiritually and financially) over me. So many have given to me, and I’m thankful for them getting me through the school. If you would like to donate for my outreach, go to the PhotogenX tab at the top for instructions.

God is definitely not wasting any time in training me. Love it!

Here are some pictures from yesterday’s adventure.

One Week Down

The first week was rough!

Kidding.

The first week was actually amazing. I’ve never felt more at peace with the direction of my life as I have here in Kona. I know it has nothing to do with the location. I could have done a YWAM school in the middle of Iowa, and I would still feel God’s restoration and love. Nothing against Iowa of course.

The Lord knows the adventurous spirit He put in me, so that’s why I felt lead to come to Hawai’i. The first thing I heard Him say when I got here was, “Rest in the waterfall” (basically, resting in the outpouring of the Holy Spirit). If any Slowburners are reading, you know that’s all Clint.  First of all, that was a definite confirmation that I’m in the right place. Second, why not rest on a beautiful island with the warm sun and a light ocean breeze. Am I right? Even the rainy weather here is pleasant.

Recap on the week:

At the beginning, Christian Fox spoke to us about “Hearing God’s Voice”. It’s definitely a skill worth developing if you plan to have any kind relationship with God. Personally, I talk to much to Him. I’m working on the listening part because I know my wisdom only comes from His Spirit. Christian did a great job of allowing room for mistakes. Mainly when speaking into others lives. It’s dangerous to say “God told me.” We have to allow room for human error. Even just adding “I think God told me this…” and finishing with a “Do you feel like that’s for you?”, or something along that line, can take the pressure off. It was also amazing to see how many ways God can speak to us. I know He has spoken to me a few of the ways we talked about, but I kind of want to ask for the ones He hasn’t.

For the past two days, Susi Childers has talked about “Obeying the Voice of God”. The part that can be the hardest of the whole conversation with God. She taught us this lesson through her own personal testimony. Just an amazing testimony. I know the podcast will be up in the PhotogenX website at some point. Highly recommend if you know what’s good for you. Susi said, “How do you find out if it was God if you don’t walk on it?” God uses obedient people. Susi told us multiple times that God spoke to her saying that He had called others to do things He asked her to do, but she was the only one who obeyed. I definitely don’t want to be overlooked when it comes to being used by the Creator.

Today, we found out what local outreaches we’ll be helping with while here in Kona. I got my first choice which is Skate Night. Just a bunch of skater kids who come to skate on ramps and rails that we put up. Super stoked for this to start Tuesday night!

Thank you Grace for some sweet tea today! I was starting to have withdrawals.

Haven’t really taken many photos. Kind of rushed to get some today because I am in the PhotogenX DTS.